Have I Flamed You Lately?

Great news, my awesome peers. My past has finally caught up with me. So schlau.

To start with, who are the miscreants who thought that the first part of the preceding post came from me? Ah...well, I'm no Sherlock Holmes but it's easy enough to see that some people are just dying to get their hands on me.

Celestial Maiden and Mikey, since you two were there almost right after I started indulging in this hobby, how many times have I explained that the stories in my FFN profile are parodies? The flamees are always too eager to jump into the booby trap. They try to use my parodies as bases for my writing talent, which, by the way exists and is at large - just not in the place where the burned could find and desecrate by their poor reading skills. As you can plainly see, these people have missed the following phrase:

lil babiiz says but forgets to address me:

When Kampasi said:

I am writing a proper story, with proper GRAMMAR. I like to nitpick at my stories and go through them for a while in the edit/preview section so it's not a stinking load of incomprehensible crap. Yes, I did just use a big word. And I'm using CAPITALS, COMMAS, and SPACES. This means I can flame the living day-lights out of you and not get yelled at, right? Well isn't that a nice perk to being a little obsessive!

I stabbed myself with that before you could. But hey, at least I care about the quality of my work and it's appearance. *cough* And you...?

This is an idiotic blog. You complain your ass off at people who are just taking sweet revenge. Yes, it is a tasty dish. Let us cherish the almighty word.

Sarcasm is just another free service I offer.

-- end of her message

Who turned on the laughing gas? I'm this close to farting here. Everyone, you can check this lass' plagiarization of MY reviews, which she happily posted on MY story review board. How absurd an action it was! Was that supposed to hurt me? It's just amusing that she revealed that she couldn't make her own flames. Capital!

By the way, revenge isn't tasty. It's a dish best served cold according to that Klingon proverb. Also if it's an idiotic blog, I wonder why you're emulating me.

It's funny because if you examine her message, you would see a couple of grammatical errors. Even the usage of the possessive pronoun 'its' and the abbreviated form of 'it is' eludes her and yet, she implies that she is better than I am in English. Did you think I was 'lil babiiz'? That's the idiot fan of Melanie Sanzo whom I will ignore until she finds something besides artless execrations of my character to say! There's also this thing about her use of an exclamation mark instead of the more appropriate question mark.

But the most appalling of all these tidbits contained in her message is her offer for sarcasm! If she knew sarcasm, then she could have easily figured out that the stories in my profile ARE parodies. So we come back to that again. Did you know that the 13-year old MistressKC understood that I was making gag stories? Maybe that says something about the intellect of Miss Kampasi.

I flame and I flame and I flame, then I make a story highly similar to the ones that I flame and then, I say that I don't want to be flamed. Sarcasm couldn't have been more obvious if it licked you in the face and put a butt plug on you.

But let's take this inference: I assume that you (Miss Kampasi) thought that I was lil babiiz. Upon seeing the very obvious fact that the message can only come from someone categorized under the Severely Retarded class, you jumped right in with amazing celerity (once you figured out you have an opening) to flaunt your superiority. But you couldn't even read right so how could I even recognize your skills at writing, much less recognize you as someone above me?

Here's her FFN profile that she shares with someone insignificant. Folks, read it and be boggled as to how she could breezily talk about her writing prowess when she (1) misspells simple words such as 'referring', (2) doesn't know how to use the adverb 'too', (3) thinks "incomprehensible" is a big word when its root word is something I use nearly everyday, (4) couldn't tell possessive pronouns apart from abbreviations and (5) is having troubles with the consistency of her tenses. I took a peek at her story. It was a Mary Sue in the world of Inuyasha and it was mediocre at best, its only saving grace perhaps being its breadth. A breadth of painful composition lengthened by scenes such as the following:
Kiki sat on the cold, hard ground for another hour as the wind worriedly flung her hair and cloths from side to side. With a sigh of defeat, she slowly and calmly lifted herself from the ground and onto the tree root, allowing her leg to hang limply in the air.

You, Miss Kampasi, use too many adverbs and sometimes they're even inappropriate in the context that you use them in. I suppose you've heard of Stephen King saying the same thing about adverbs with JK Rowling. If not, there's a book called "The Writer's Block" by Jason Rekulak and one of the many points it stresses is to avoid the unnecessary use of adverbs. You've mentioned that you nitpick your own work. Well then, that just means you don't recognize some of your mistakes. You're ignorant and yet you have the audacity to come to this supremely exulted blog to parade your meager knowledge.

Miss Kampasi's writing is like Britney Spears' or Ashlee/Ashley Simpson's songs. These things make me relish the idea of being in a world without them.

As for your friend Serendipity-someone that I flamed, it was a horrible Mary Sue fan fiction in an anime from a shounen-ai genre. And she doesn't read well either, judging from what she wrote as a reply to my last post. And your mutual friend Sakura Someone called me a "total butt" so I came back with "doss little cunt". I was feeling a wee bit Scottish that day.

------

You do realize what the lesson for the day is, don't you? People who can't read well, can't write well either. The same goes for people whose literary diet is mainly composed of Mary Sue fanfictions.

PS Who has heard of kimono pants and shirt? Miss Kampasi mentioned it in her dreadful story which was obviously conceived by a misinformed/poorly informed body. I know there are things such as a gi and a hakama though.