Saturday, December 09, 2006

adream=acow=atalis

The italicized words are words straight from a cow's mouth.

I'd like to thank Fiamme and Dorian for the contributions.

And happy holidays to my pals Death-by-Masamune, Caffeine-addict, Pollux, Strider, Pao, Celestial, ivyblue, Fiamme, Mikey, BTS, Dorian, Thesaurus Grill and everyone else I forgot to mention.


Personally, this is my own opinion, flamers are people lacking in the area of intelligence and common sense. They lack these things so greatly they find themselves unable to put together a coherent and logical aide for possible future writers and dreamers! Flamers, in my opinion, are no better suited for crushing peoples dreams, since they don't have the common sense or compassion to care about what the people they flame may think about.

Oh. That makes you what, defender-of the-people-with-crushed-dreams? How intelligent. So, what makes a flamer unintelligent? Common sense, as you obviously don’t know is like a million miles from compassion. Heart and mind, two different things. Unlike you, we do something that BACKS up our statements, we don’t go generalizing morons because there are different types (those who retaliate, those who think they’re smart enough to turn the tables and take the upper-hand, and those who would rather shut up). We (Flamers, as you call us) don’t just simply write , flamers are people lacking in the area of intelligence and common sense. Instead, we expand on what we say. Take a look at Dorian Ghey, Better than Shakespeare, death-by-masamune, caffeine-addict and Thesaurus Girl’s reviews/criticisms. They entail logical explanations about the stories they flame being abysmal. That’s why a single review/flame from these flamers can cover an entire page. You, well, you have the audacity to talk about grammar and story quality when your writing alone gave me enough reason to believe in miracles, preferably daft miracles like a baby-eating fetus and of course, the most profound and depthless existence of your ironically nonexistent mind. I’ve looked past your horrendous grammar and what do I get? Zero, not even an unqualified boiled egg. Your reasoning proved fatal to your brain, but then again you have no brain to cost you your life, which explains your incomprehensible lack of sense.

I am giving you the honor to take the floor. And though you may be out of our arena, what with your lame crap about your grandma’s birthday and our IQ’s soaring past your severely limited imagination, I’m nonetheless going to ask these people if I could borrow their flames as an example. And then, I’d like to expand on their being illogical and devoid of common sense.

In particular, Talis, care to offer examples/instances in which flamers (namely, us) exhibit a lack of common sense? As I’ve said, don’t interchange compassion/kindness/good-heartedness to intelligence and common sense.

Also, you did mention something about the writers’ ages. You defended their youth, amateurism and lack of full education. Just so you know, we have flamers that are younger than you. Fiamme, for one, is fifteen and she makes more intelligent arguments than you can manage in your whole lifetime. Dorian is seventeen and has been flaming since he was younger than your current age. I’m nineteen and look, when I was twelve, I didn’t come up with something like this:

Actually, it applies to all flamers ^^, and grammar nazis depending. For example, if you flame someone's writing, you're giving them useless advice. If you really want to helpful to the future of the english, (or any other), language, flaming is not the way to do it! However, if you give contructive criticism combined with useful tips and ways of fixing the problem, you are helping.

There’s truthfully no use in comparing a god to a snail.

Obviously you get off on crumbling small children's dreams, but what if they actually want to become writers? Were you a fabulous and world-renowned writer when you were 12? I think not! I wasn't, J.R.R Tolkien wasn't, heck, not even Christopher Paolini was! So, crushing the dreams of 12-year-olds could possibly be depriving us from great books in the future!

Now, now. This of course is an incredible vestige of retarded primitivism. Did any of us mention that a twelve year old girl should be as good as Tolkien? I don’t remember saying that. I don’t remember Fiamme saying that either. If I were you, Talis, I’d stop stuffing bullshit in other people’s mouth. What we’re asking these twelve year old brats to do is, merely arrange the way they write. The mere fact that they uploaded their fic in ffnet already opens for any kind of criticism. Thus, ours. If they write horribly, we say it straight in the face. We explain. We elaborate. We point out what’s grotesquely wrong with the story. We don’t do it nicely because we’re not hypocrites like you. We just don’t say they suck, unlike you who would run away with the false idea that we have no common sense and yet don’t offer proofs to back her statement up. Now you’re saying that they’re young. Unfortunately, when I was twelve, I didn’t have delusions along the mind of these certain twelve year olds I’ve flamed. I didn’t, for one thing, misspell the words “Nazi”, “criticize”, “language”, “indigenous” and the like when I was twelve. Even when I was nine. You, on the other hand, are sixteen. And yet, you committed heinous errors such as those. Of course you’re going to put emphasis on my being a grammar Nazi, which is fine because that would only make one person look stupid. That is you.

And just for the record, my friends and I no longer flame on the basis of one’s stupid grammar. It’s kind of out of date. We stick to the content. Unlike you who’d just burst around calling people dumb.

Kids don't have strong convictions, and they don't like being dragged down in most horrible and unpleasant ways, it's just cruel. If someone made fun of your for trying, would you keep doing it? I don't think so~

You should more or less be ashamed for writing this. Kids who are thirteen, twelve and even one have strong convictions. You remember that story on a six year old kid who is fighting a rare chronic disease? You remember that he’s Australian and has give or take only two years to live. He’s fighting. Ergo, he has conviction. To begin with, Talis, do you know what the word means?

At least they try, right? I'm not saying you should stop reading fanfics and go hide in a hole down in Antarctica, but have you ever considered "positive" feedback. Studies show it makes people want to do the things you suggest! Who would you rather listen to, the girl who calls you an attention-whore, peon of a writer or the girl who says your spelling could use some work, but keep trying? I know everyone is different, maybe you like being called an idiot, but most people dislike it.

Tell me, how are we supposed to give positive feedback on a fic which is so abysmal it should be banned from humanity’s sight? You yourself didn’t give Yuki’s story a positive feedback. Do you mean to say that you’re the only one who has right to offend people. My golly, you are on dumb shit with ducks for parents and teachers. Please go to Fiamme’s latest post. Reread your first comment. You might find out that you flamed an author without knowing it. Now after that, kindly kill your teachers before you give them more excruciating form of torture that could actually lead to an even more brutal death like, uh, death by Talis’ shitty display of non-intelligence.

Also, I’d like to point out that my purpose as a flamer is to annihilate crappy authors from the internet. So stop that shit about crushing people’s dreams. You’re crushing mine. Ooops. I know what you’re going to say to that, you’ll say something lame like, “I’m sorry to crush your dreams and I’m sorry that you’re very offended by me. Please go to my blog. It’s where I put my opinions. I know what you’re going to say to that; you’d say you didn’t read it. BUT I DOUBT THAT. I KNOW YOU’RE OBSESSED WITH ME. Deep inside you’re dying to know about me!” Yuck. You make me puke. I hope you’d get around to answering why you’re dying for other people to tell you that you’re smart,why you invite people to your blog when in fact, NOBODY CARES FOR YOUR DUMB OPINIONS ON CASINO ROYALE WHICH YOU SPELLED LIKE A COW.

Oh, I just ripped off from Dorian Ghey there. Sorry, Dorian.

Dorian: Psst. I checked out Talis’ blog.

Talis: *squeals and spreads the news to her dumb mates. In the process, she wets herself in exhilaration* Somebody is reading my blog. OH MY GOD! The world thinks I’m smart.

Bet You Love That: Dorian, dude, did you see The Killers’ latest vid? Bones? Sheesh. Devon Aoki is H-O-T.

Dorian: Yeah I know. But you gotta listen, dude. This is way urgent. I read Talis’s blog. You gotta see this, dude. It’s like crap topped with a cream of cow shit.

Bet You Love That: I was thinking if I should download South Park’s sixth season. I actually missed it when the cable stopped our subscription to Comedy Central.

Dorian: Fuck you, Bet. Talis is one dumb fucker. She’s blabbing some shit about nuclear war when no statement has been released by Kim Il Jon himself. She’s one dumb fucker.

Talis: I just woke up. Oh look! Morning glory twinkle starry I’m drolly wanna milkie cowie. I’m so cute. Bet, am I not cute?

Dorian: Oh shit, She’s here. Now she’s going to think that we’re obsessed with her. She’s going to give us free copies of her autobiography!

Bet You Love That: What the hell is all this? Dorian, did Menelaus make a whore out of Cassandra? He took her to Greece after the Trojan war.

Talis: I read Iliad.

Dorian: Fuck you Bet, I’ve read Iliad, Aenid and the Odyssey eons ago, you’re not gonna ask me now about them are you?

Bet You Love That: Alas, I hear mooing.

Dorian: That's what I've been telling you from the start. It's Talis. Come, let's ask her. Maybe she knows tha answer.

Bet You Love That: Hey, cow! Did Menelaus rape Cassandra?

Talis: Oh my gosh. I'm sleepy. I don't have time for people who are obsessed with me. I just had a dream. I love flamers. My mom says Grisham is the scriptwriter for Law and Order. I'm glad tha people love to visit my blog and comment on my intelligent posts. Now guys. I have no time for you. You see, I have a life and you don't. I'm a diva in disguise. I write tons better than the rest of the world put together. Plus, my friends respect my idea. I know you worship everything I say, that's why you read my blog every second. I'm sorry if I don't update often. I just hope I won't lose you as fans. Thanks for the views and comments guys. I'm most glad that you agree to everything I say.

I forgot to address this in my last email, but obviously you didn't like my comments about your writing. I know you don't take writing seriously, but I like to hold on my few things. Writing is my passion. Reading as someone takes the use of words and completely abuses it to offend and hurt other people, or just to put together a story with no substance hurts a little. Why write a story if you don't want someone, anyone, to enjoy it? Yes, that someone maybe you, but writing for other people about what you think is fun too. I don't jsut write things and put them on my site and ignore that they're crap, I make sure they're good, and then let people see them! You don't want to read a bad story obviously, neither do I.

That's all for now. Don't forget, my challenge is still open :).



Writing is your passion? This is the greatest contradiction the world has ever seen. You say writing is your passion. You say you hate flamers because they crush people’s dreams. Then why do you write something so moronic it could send Morgoth to oblivion and make Luthien end up looking like Professor Umbridge? You are committing a crime more hideous than anything we can come up with, as much as we summon all the evil we can muster, we will NEVER be able to create something as abysmal as your inexplicably dumb principles, pathetic inconsistencies and pitiable attempt to sound intelligent. On the bright side, you might as well be a jester. Your opinions’ transcendent crappiness eclipses all retardation to become the mother of narrative crap. Do you honestly think we abuse the English language to come up with all those hurtful stuff we hurl at idiots like you? No. They’re more like requirements because if we try to be hypocritical and pretend to be nice, like you, that just wouldn’t counter the idiocy that is so all over the place now. You, and the other abysmal writers we flame are the ones who are apparently abusing the language, oh wait, you cows are not just abusing it; you’re butchering it. You talk about things you don’t know, you generalize as much as Pol Pot did, and guess what, you like acting cool and intelligent when you haven’t even finished Iliad. Stop bluffing, you’re not sixteen, you’re just four years old. From what Dorian told me, your blog entries are so bad they might have been unrelated products, probably diarrhea-inducing ones, that just happened to run into the ‘publish post’ window and were accidentally labeled as reading materials. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were actually scanned macaroni paintings created by 3-year old squirts while camping. He said something about your short stories but really, the email he sent me is really hard to decipher because I myself found it extremely difficult to read between the swear words and the cow comments. He even expanded about his review on your Casino Royale review. You said it was "awesome". What a SUBSTANTIAL review that is. You should be named Time's Cow of the Century. And writing is your passion? Writing what? Stuff that could revert the division of nuclear atoms when they collide? You should work for North Korea’s nuclear lab, really. Perhaps the US and Russia would even offer you pleasant deals. You can lull the world into a slumber with your severe lack of talent and knowledge in literature and no blood will be shed, except for us who get nose-bleed whenever we read new comments from you. Maybe you do have passion for writing, but you have no respect for writing. You write for the sake of stuffing something in your essentially empty blog. You don't promote anything; your pages might as well be blank. There's not a single trace of intelligence in your posts. You haven't even read Grisham and Iliad and you're what? 16?

Oh, Fiamme doesn't take writing seriously? Didn't she flame retards like you because of the crap they post? You know this is embarrassing, Fiamme does not take writing seriously as much as you do and yet, she happens to be better than you on a godly expanse. I wonder.

You make sure what you write has substance? Yeah, it has fatal substances in it, that’s why we get nose-bleed and migraine whenever we encounter a word from you. I think I’m anemic now. We don’t mind reading bad stories but as much as we can, we try to avoid dangerous or life-threatening ones, like yours. I don’t know about Dorian, he’s the toughest masochist there is, imagine reading your crap and giving in-depth reviews and all… he should be named his country’s national hero.

Of course you thought people would enjoy your works; sadly, you most likely have killed an editor somewhere when he ran into your page. You see, the power of writing can make a politician crawl beneath his trousers and make Nicole Kidman, Halle Berry and Angelina Jolie an adolescent boy's worst nightmare, and this has never been more evident in the emails you sent Fiamme.


On A Dream To Die For, there are few of my personal works, some that have won awards.sadly I cannot post the published ones. I'll provide you a link, if you've forgotten it. Pick a story and review it, flame, do with it what you'd like. But I expect quality, I don't want to discover you're just a kid that happens to know how to throw a sharp sentence together

What sort of awards did you gather? Perhaps you entered your works in a science exhibit and what with your incredibly minute brain, you are indeed, a scientific wonder. Oh, you know quality? With your loophole-ridden mess you replied on my blog on my previous post, remember, about paintings, shakespeare, natural evolution and the importance of grammar when my pals made you eat every single word you said? That I doubt. You've lost credibility the moment you set foot on my blog. So you do admit that Fiamme can come up with sharp sentences, and judging by her replies to you, they're actually of good quality. And you, well, you can't even construct a sentence that is anywhere near blunt.

I thought I would just inform I'm moved my domain around a bit! Now that I have finally figured out WordPress, and MySQL, I installed it without a problem. I'm uploading my stories tonight, so I thought you should know about them. The new URL is http://adream.kyonkichi.com! I love the name, adream. Now I know you'll probably nail me for using a word such as adream, but if you must criticise, look at this, it's a valid word with its own definition!

adream : (ah-DREE-ahm)
1. a dream of the highest order
2. a concious dream, usually deciding one’s life
3. the dream, which by one’s conviction, is considered worth dying for

Tah-dah. See, own definition. I made it up, as with every other word in the universe.



You know, this is way past hilarity, past losing myself because of laughter not to mention polluting the entire world with laugh gas coming out of every hole in my body. adream huh? How creative. You see, an embryo that has not yet come to existence or whose parents haven't even met can come up with something better than that. How sentimental and...OK, if you think this is such an accomplishment that's worth bragging about, you…well you do NOT exist. I do not believe that someone with this level of retardation can be created by a supreme entity or by the universe even by accident. Really, you are a contradiction to every being that has a brain. How corny can you get? You know there's something UNLIMITED and UNSTOPPABLE about you, it's your ignorance, your extreme lack of correct judgment and your delusions about the 'talent' you claim, you push us to pity.


Now that that is finished, gloves off Fiamme-chan. You see, I'm sweet most of the time, but your endless mazi-like approach to crushing people's dream is getting to be... {insert expletive here} annoying.

What is "to be" doing there? Oh, I'm being a grammar police again.


Prestigious high school or not, crushing dreams, hopes and anything that resembles happiness is something this average girl doesn't tolerate! Let's make a few points. Of course, now that I know you attend the ivy league of high schools in the Philippines, I can understand your superiority complex. Of course, I don't understand it, having attended average public schools my entire life, but I can still dislike it. Obviously your need to insult anyone who is inferior to your majesty is feeding off your "superiority" to the average highschool student, ne? Oh gosh, forgive me, I'm just one of those students.

Please, enough of infantile lectures, they're boring.

It's good that you define "adream" as a dream of highest order. Let's put something to append that. What about this:

atalis : (mo-ron OR cow)

1. a retard of the highest order
2. something that can't spell and use logic
3. something that is very bovine in character
4. someone who invents words and assigns lame definitions for them
5. someone who begs people on her cow knees to read her cow-related opinions

Tah-dah. See, own definition. I made it up, as a cow that goes by name Talis would.



Okay class, time for revision! First we have Queen of the World (forgive me for bringing up the dead art of capitalization, similar to Latin in its use apparently), you lovely darling who's use of the english language apalls me.

I've tackled this famous statement of yours some time ago but I can't get over it. I can't get over the fact that the creator actually manage to create someone as moronic as you, even if he is indeed a god, the labor of coming up with something as dumb as you are is unimaginable. The last phrase itself basically implies that the person being addressed doesn't use the English language properly and yet, the very short statement itself is ridden with grammatical errors. M-O-R-O-N.

See what your "obsession" has brought to light? Grammar has only a minor role in any language, especially in language arts. You cannot be grammatically correct, and creative, at the same time. If there were rules to painting, such works as The Last Supper and Madonna of the Rocks would never have been done! Details are nice, but obsession with details and correctness are completely... useless

Stop implying that you know language artistry when all you can say about a movie is "it was awesome". Retard. And I know why you keep implying that grammar is useless, because you're a bitter cow. Perfect grammar is something you can never achieve that's why you sour grape all the time and thrust it to everyone's throat that substance is everything and technicalities are nothing. Unfortunately for you, everything you write has no substance and your grammar likewise is abysmal. You might as well replace all your nouns with "cow"; your adjectives with "cowish"; your verbs with "cowing"; your prepositions with "mooh".

Chromosomal Aberration? Never heard of it, then again, I don't have science this semester, so I can't really say. But Fifi, head out of science text book please, no one loves a chromosome lover.


Moronic cow. Just because she knows what chromosomal aberration means doesn't mean she loves textbooks, she just listens to her professors, unlike you who want it the other way around; I bet you beg your teachers to listen to your opinions and visit your blog. What a pathetic retard.

As for myself, I'm Linguistically/Mucially/Intrapersonally intelligent ^^. I don't know you well enough to see if you are intrapersonal or interpersonal. I'd guess at intrapersonal, since your people sills could use some refining. It's called multiple intelligences, proven theory too. They tell us what areas we specialize in and how we learn. I can read any book and learn from it, and music helps too, you probably learns with math and logic ^^.

Oh, let's see, You can read ANY book and learn from them. You've "read" some of Tolkien's works and yet you can't spell, you can't use 'its', 'whose' and other simple words, you have no imagination, you can't grasp why we flame and crush people’s dreams and yet the statement above exists. I am like the Sons of Feanor in the Silmarillion, most especially Curufin, violent, though he was less temperate than the youngest three sons (excluding himself), talented, artistic and have great potential for greatness though I may be evil at times. That, I've learned the moment I read about where his son Celebrimbor got his talents. And you? You learned how to run your head against the wall from reading the greatness, Silmarillion. Actually, I found it really exciting and I couldn't get enough of the Noldor and the Valar while you, well you just made a clown of yourself implying that Tolkien doesn't suit your taste. And I wouldn't call it 'normal' fantasy; his universe, Arda, is the mother of all fantasy in any medium. The expanse of his creativity and intelligence reaches up to the point that he was able to create more than 3 languages with various dialects. Not the same crap you get from Jordan, Eddings, Brooks, Cole, Evans, Stasheff, Kayes, and other fantasy writers who can't see beyond dragons, swords and sorcery. If you must know, the Silmarillion itself is already condensed into its simplest form. Oh, multiple intelligences theory was actually proven?! Moron. That's why people like Leonardo, Wolfgang, de Angelis, Dee, Cojo, and Pellegrinni exist.

You're currently reading the Mythology and yet The Greater Ajax's foolishness is still nowhere near yours. You're still more of a bovine when Europa was turned into one and I bet Io was prettier than you when Hera was looking for her. Figure that out.

Did anyone ask you about your "intelligence"? No one did. You just want to brag. If no one has ever told you that you are intelligent, then please, don't beg us to do so.



Lastly, Talis, just because Fiamme isn't replying to you and your lame, feckless insults doesn't mean she has nothing to say. Gosh, what do you expect her to do? Moo like you?